Have you ever felt that twinge of jealousy when you see a friend or (ex) partner having fun with someone else?

In the past, I would feel a stab of jealousy and a bolt of anger because I told myself an old and familiar story of being “not good enough.”

But one day I started to do something different: I wished them well instead.

I wished them well instead.

When I came across a social media post of a best friend of mine out with another person, rather than letting the old tape deck of jealousy play, I became brutally honest with myself. I looked at my friend in the photo, who I love dearly.They were laughing and enjoying life. I could see how good my friend must have felt around this person. My internal dialogue shifted to “I’m glad she has someone who cares for her.”

I had been seeing other people through my wounds and fears of not feeling good enough or lovable. From a young age, I learned to look for signs of abandonment. It has been a lifelong struggle, with which I still battle ferociously.

I had to teach myself new ways of navigating hurt to be able to truly be a better friend. To instead see how I was showing up in the relationship and then choosing to give space for love rather than insecurity.

Give space for love rather than insecurity

It felt freeing, like a weight had been lifted off of me to see through this new, open perspective.

Embracing vulnerability while simultaneously feeling past hurt is complicated. The complexity of life really can be a b!tch…but the learning and growing into more freely giving and receiving love is the only thing that could ever make this feel worth it 🙂

Want to practice and experience this radical vulnerability with other women who are ready to embrace the messy reality of life? Check out our Know Thyself: Women’s Workshop Series.