We all get caught up in thinking patterns. I tend to struggle with two main topics: a) maintaining control, and b) letting go and releasing. I continually strive to find an emotional resting place. To do this, I attempt to exert as much control over my life as possible, which of course rarely works. It’s one of my struggles, and I’m very much still in a learning phase.
I often associate continuity with safety and change with being out of control. As I type this, I can feel my stomach tighten up at the mere thought of losing control. You can guess how fun my controlling tendencies are for the people in my life. Many times my attempts to keep things “as they are” result in asking for others to assure me that everything is ok in hopes that I can fix any issue before they result in my life changing.
In direct contrast to my desire for safety and control, I also thirst for adventure, and I thrive when I express abundant amounts of curiosity. It’s pretty much like an emotional tug-of-war between my spirit and my brain. I have learned that my enjoyment is directly correlated to my willingness to let go of the warm, fuzzy hand of comfort, and jump into the moment of change.
At the moment, I’m at about 20% risk to 80% safety in my life choices. This is far below where my maximum happiness level is; I feel happiest when the percentages are flipped to 80% risk to 20% safety. The more grounded I feel, the more I am willing to choose the option that feels riskier (in other words, the less tested of the two options). As I hold on to the familiar, I become weighed down by what no longer serves me.
It’s like clothes that no longer fit or match your style (we all have that shirt in the closet that no longer fits but for some reason we can’t seem to give it up); or that relationship which has become more of an obligatory punishment because every time you talk to the other person, you feel icky after. We all have aspects and relationships that we struggle to admit we’ve grown out of.
Here’s what I do when I have a hunch that it’s time to let go of something that’s been important to me…
3 Steps To Letting Go:
- Imagine what it would feel like if the person or thing was no longer in your life. If the shirt was out of the closet or the person’s number was no longer in your phone. Does it feel like a relief?
- Take action and do what feels best. If there’s a rush of motivation to get rid of more, you’re on the right track.
- Keep going! A good purge clears space for the people or aspects which bring the most joy and light into life.
Fall is the perfect time of year to shed what’s weighing us down. The example set by the changing seasons calms my nerves when it comes to releasing. Letting go can be a real struggle and some of us need some support to make the changes we know in our bones need to happen to move on.
We are here to support you through every transition–let us know if you could use a little extra nudge! From new wardrobe to new career, we’ve got you covered.